- Country: United States
- State: Alaska
- Listed: February 15, 2021 10:14 am
- Expires: 580 days, 6 hours
I guess there is no requirement that only mothers can write here. 🙂 I read the letter and some of the comments. We are having the same problems as my wife. We are married for 4 years, we have a 2.5-year-old daughter. Of course, there are factors that increase the problems such as my husband being a foreigner and living abroad, but the situation is almost the same. I want to tell you how the situation looks in the male eye (at least in my eyes)
My wife is not working, she is always at home and looking after our daughter. He does not spend much time on housework, says that when I come home he never finds time if the house is messy or if there is no food (I don’t understand how he did not find time all day, actually). The city we live in is not our city, we are here because of the name, so we have no friends here, there is no place where we can go somewhere alone after leaving our children. Therefore, we cannot find much we can do or do together.
In the evening, I come home around 18:00. There are 2 things I want when I come here, the first is to rest my mind for 30 minutes and get rid of the stress of work, and then to spend time with my daughter. For this reason, we do not have any contact with my wife until 22:00 – 22:30. While I am playing with my daughter, she is also dealing with housework, or talking to someone on the Internet.
After sleeping our daughter at 22:30, she is asleep immediately. I wonder if we wake up with hope every day and wait to see if we can watch a movie together. Yes, occasionally she wakes up after she sleeps, but again, we just spare time for her, we can’t do anything together.
Holidays in Turkey to come to our daughter we decided to make my mother can leave the basbasa 3-day holiday, 3 gundur, I’m trying to lift him up after sleeping at night. My goal is to decide together on the internet where we will go, but despite knowing this for 3 days, he does not get up, he continues to sleep. When I ask, he says that he feels very weak and therefore cannot get up. However, he had a favorite show on TV recently and he got up for it!
As such, I started to think that my wife was not excited about this holiday, that it was not so important to have a holiday with me and that she did not love me.
Again, it will be up to me to decide for a vacation and make all the adjustments.
In fact, what I expect from my wife is to find things we can do together, arrange them and recommend them to me. Because, while working with priority, I decide and organize many things anyway, when I come home I don’t want to worry about organizational work anymore, and since the work of the child is basically under my wife’s control, I expect the child to make an adjustment to suit the situation. (Likewise, I have a thought about taking the responsibility of the child, let him give the instructions and I will do it too. Then, when I come to the job, I have to buy fruit juice, what is needed at home?
While talking about these issues lately, he said to me, “I lost my personality, now I am the person I want, I have nothing of my own, I cannot do my hobbies, I cannot live as I want”. I find you mothers unfair in this matter. You throw all the blame for the life restrictions and changes brought about by being a mother on the fathers (Fathers also throw them on the mothers). However, the reason for all this is the existence of the child. However, both sides blame the other side for failing to characterize the child as their superior in conscience. Maybe I should accept this situation without blaming someone and look for solutions by talking.
In short, both sides are waiting for a step, but these expectations are not a common occurrence. In order to meet these expectations, I think the most important thing is to be able to speak clearly. (What we can’t do right now because of my wife is either not having time or the villain doesn’t want to talk).
It must be remembered that the person in front of you is the person you loved and loved once, that person has not changed, he is still the same person. In this thinking you have a lot of hope.
It was a bit of a messy article, I could only write a part of it when I had 1 million thoughts in my head, so do not mind.
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